The Ink Had To Be In Black Or Blue
Long before the digital age, when official forms needed to be filled out, institutions like schools, the military, universities, banks etc., would require that forms needed to be completed in either black or blue ink. This rule was imposed, one would surmise, for the sake of standardizing uniformity and professionalism in hand-written record keeping.
Of course, there were those who deviated from this rule. I can remember teachers and military Commanding Officers who always wrote their comments in bold red ink. I think this was to make sure that they got your attention, not to mention some intimidation being communicated as well.
Now with technology, computers, I-Pads, smart phones, etc., people can write scripts in all colors. The limitations of black and blue have now been abandoned, and there is now more freedom expressed in how one can send correspondence electronically.
Living and working in institutions can be challenging. Some systems will be more closed while others will retain more of an open atmosphere. I once met with a church group to share with them resources available to help military service members and their families. I remember the conversation was more of a monologue than a dialogue. The people, who were members of this particular church committee, were more intent in talking to me about their rules and expectations and less amenable to hearing anything that I had to say.
On another occasion, however, I went out to dinner with some mental health colleagues, ate Italian food and drank some wine, and the conversation was very collaborative, stimulating and productive. It dawned on me ten minutes into the meeting that I was being interviewed for a job. I thought what a unique experience! I have to say this was my all-time favorite job interview. I did get the job, and my time teaching at that university was quite rewarding.
How do we make meaning out of our lives and out of our vocations? People can experience struggle, rejection, pain, and they can understandably ask themselves why me?
Perhaps, a more accurate question may be “why not me? “
As people, we are always a part of systems-whether they be families, schools, churches, agencies. You can either feel that you are inside and part of the group, or you feel like you are outside and are in exile. I know someone who left a church that they were a member of for a long time. The church closed, and therefore, there was the need to move and find a new place of worship. After a year, this person found a new place, but it was different. It wasn’t like the old church where they had been a member for so long. Gradually, this person has been able to adjust to this new congregation and thrive.
We need to be aware of our assumptions in life. As Gracie Allen noted:
“Never put a period where a comma is intended. “
Having a good friendship, a relationship, an interaction between a supervisor and supervisee in a mental health setting etc., is marked by the human interaction of mutually knowing and being known.
Harlene Anderson has noted that “there needs to be a balance between not-knowing and knowing from your perspective as being an expert.”
If I meet someone from Jamaica, I may not know what the cultural practices are among the people. However, if I am there with that person in the capacity of a helping professional, I can hopefully bring forth my expertise in being able to help them.
There will always be the choice between living in a world predicated by only black and blue ink, or living in an environment where all colors and interpretations and perspectives are welcome.
May we choose to “not-know “and yet to know, that we can grow, and expand in our learning, and loving in our relationships with others and our world always.
May it be so.
